Scotchland

Ladies and gentlemen I'm back in Scotland, or as I call it Kebab Central. Today seems like it might be a perfect day to hit Best Kebab for a large Donner. MMMMM.

I can now confidently say that I've seen the greatest musician in the world. His name is Homeless Man (ok this is what I call him, but imagine he had a sign introducing himself as homeless man, that would rock). He plays guitar. Badly. Actually, he doesn't really play it as much as just strum it. His left hand isn't on the strings or frets at all because it's holding his little cup he shakes, hoping to gather a few coins. So really he's juts making noise. Oh, there's singing too. I'm not sure what the words are yet, they are quite difficult to make out. I'll try and have a better listen today. Needless to say he is much more entertaining to me than all the other buskers downtown. Of course I am going to hell for finding him so entertaining.

Breaking news: I've just received a phone call from Blair "Wheat is the Devil" Brown. One of his bags has been lost by continental airlines. Apparently he has his drumming bag, but unfortunately the missing bag was the one with the blow and the midget hooker in it. Tonights party is now off. Unless anyone knows where to find a midget hooker in Glasgow.

Last Comic Standing has started again at home and I think everyone should be watching this show. For one thing it has Mel Silverback. Mel is half Jew, half Mountain Gorilla. I don't think I have to explain why this combination is funny. I've been practicing Mels' intro dance, possibly going to use it as my intro for karaoke. Speaking of funny, here are some of my favourite current funny bits online:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ3oHpup-pk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYeJEFa-xCA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scNLfr1EP08&mode=related&search= (People not familiar with the Scottish language may have trouble understanding this one)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWt9VNsnsQk

This amp goes to 11

Philip Hellmuth Jr. has won WSOP Bracelet number 11. After being the last of he, Doyle Brunson and Johnny Chan to get to 10, Hellmuth has become the first to 11. He won event 15, a $1500 No Limit Hold'em. I find Hellmuth extremely interesting. He is the ultimate person you love to hate. Constantly whining, berating other players, and generally being a jack ass while at the table, by all accounts away from the table he is a generally nice guy and is very well liked. The one thing no one can deny is his awesome talent at Texas Hold'em. While Chan and Brunson have each won their 10 bracelets in a number of games (actually more impressive than specializing in one) Hellmuth has won all 11 of his bracelets in Hold'em. There was a time when some of the newer players were saying these older guys couldn't adapt to the new style of play. Well, Hellmuth has won bracelets in 2 consecutive years and beat a field of 2628 players to capture this latest title.

Many of you may also know that I am a savage Magic the Gathering geek. This has become slightly less geeky in recent years as many top Magic pros have gone on to excel at Poker. I love lists and my top 5 Magic players of all time list consists of
1. Jon Finkel (You can read about Jon in "Jonny Magic and the Card Shark Kids" a book that details his rise from fat geeky kid, to best Magic player in the world, top player on the country's biggest Blackjack team taking casinos for mad $$$, and Justin Timberlake look alike).
2. Kai Budde
3. Bob Maher Jr.
4. Gabriel Nassif
5. Kenji Tsumura

Nassif has become the latest Magic star to make a final table at the WSOP. He is savagely short stacked and in 9th place going into today, but a final table is still a final table. I remember a few years ago when we were playing poker at my buddy's house. Mr. Gab Tsang who had just won a Magic team Pro Tour with Nassif was also in attendance. I was on one of the poker sites checking out the Aviation club tournaments going on in France. "Hey Gab" I said, your teammate just won a poker tournament. "Oh yeah?" It was a small win but obviously Nassif is pretty good and has gotten even better.

Song of the day- "Rock Me Gently" by Andy Kim

The Buzz

Lots of Buzz on the old blog. Thanks to a good word of mouth campaign started by super fan RBarr, hopefully we'll attract some new readers. For those of you that Ryan told I write about NASCAR this just in... Jeff Gordon's gay. I don't know how all the big sports sites have missed out on this story, but I have it on very good authority (friend who will remain nameless-"He grabbed my junk"). So there you have it breaking NASCAR news, only on G Bizzle Entertainment.

"The Georgetown Highland Games and Sheepdog festival where the sheepdogs chase Sheep and Ducks" took place on Saturday. Seeing as how this particular games is located approximately 20 minutes from my home it was a no brainer to attend. Some highlights of the day included the loaded French Fries (spring onion, sour cream, bacon and cheese), safari hats, greasing up Kate Rennie with sun screen, and the whisky taste testing. Lowlights included the beer tent running out of beer (which makes it just a tent) and then all alcohol. I swear I saw one of the locals grab a pitchfork in anger, and knew this was a good time to leave. One final thing that came of the day is that I am on the short list to star in the new biopic "The life and times of Bob Shepherd". Super Producer Geoff Neigh took notice of my ample cigar smoking and thinks I would make the perfect "young Bob". This would be great as Young Bob has some of the best parts like fighting Nazis and searching for mystical bagpipes in the deserts of Morocco.

R.Kelly says "After the show it's the after party", and for the Georgetown Sheep festival it was no exception, with the AP taking place at the Casa de Duthart. Much merry making ensued with the highlight being Dan "Peter" Griffin ordering 5 pizzas at the perfect moment. As the clock struck 12 two lover birds were officially celebrating their anniversary which led to my personal favourite sound bite of the night "So... you wanna do stuff?". I said yes, but then realised the question wasn't asked to me. Also for anyone that missed it James "Frisky" McHattie will be running another seminar in Kincardine on the art of properly cutting a hamburger with a serrated bread knife and paper plate. This is knowledge you can not afford to live without.

Sports update that doesn't have anything to do with Jeff Gordon: Ducks rock, Senators suck.
Spurs rock, Cavaliers Suck. Last night Tim Duncan led the game in assists. The entire game. Including players from both teams. Yep, not a point guard, or a guard in general, Tim Duncan. Oh, he also threw in 23 points and 9 rebounds, once again "Tim Duncan best player in Basketball".

The Montreal Grand Prix was yesterday and the day before in qualifying a man almost hit a groundhog. In the race itself one of the cars pitted so unexpectedly his crew had to come running out of the garage and had no clue what was going on. The driver explained "I hit a Beaver". Not a good weekend for medium sized rodents. The largest rodent of course is the Capybara, found in Central and South America. The Capybara can reach 4 ft in length and 100 lbs in weight. He would destroy an F1 car.

The WSOP is in full swing. Over at ESPN (where my buddy Gary Wise is doing his writing for the World Series) they also had a fantasy poker draft. The number 1 overall pick was Mr. Allen Cunningham. I thought this pick was brilliant. Cunningham has won bracelets at the past 2 WSOP's and just always seems to peek at this tournament. Last night he won bracelet number 5! In our pool you could pick any 20 players for you team. I of course had Cunningham on my number 1 team, but chose not to duplicate players on my two teams so left him off team 2. Our Pool total now clearly reflects teams that have Cunningham and teams that don't.

Standings through event 14

G Bizzle 1- 248
Jay1- 204
Boyd- 202
Ward- 195
Mike- 176
Matt- 165
G Bizzle 2- 105
Jay2- 82
Heidi- 40

If you actually follow poker, here's who's on my two teams.

G Bizzle 1:
Allen Cunningham
Daniel Negreanu
Phil Hellmuth
Joe Hachem
Justin Bonomo
Barry Greenstein
David Pham
Michael Mizrachi
Bill Edler
JC Tran
Ted Forrest
Phil Ivey
Gavin Smith
Jeff Madsen
James Van Alstyne
Chris Ferguson
Chau Giang
Paul Wasica
Eric Seidel
Jon Juanda

and G Bizzle 2:
Scott Fischman
John Hennigan
William Chen
Robert Williamson III
Mark Seif
Eric Lindgren
Jennifer Harman
Shannon Shorr (this is a man Matt)
Joe Sebok
David Williams
Juan Carlos Mortenson
Chris Bell
Brad Booth
Eric Froehlich
Cory Carrol
Robert Mizrachi
Eric Cajelais
Darrell Dicken
Phil Gordon
Kirk Morrison

WSOP

Alright. So far the World Series has completed 7 events (if you count the casino employees event). The Standings in our pool currently look like this

"Angry" Matt Prevost: 94 points
G-Bizzle 2: 87 points
G-Bizzle 1: 85 points
Jay "IHOS" Robar 1: 82 points
"F" Ward: 80 points
Michael "Danger" Croft: 69 points
Boyd "Duckling" Hardie: 60 points
Jay Robar 2: 44 points
Heidi "My team is basically 5 people" Croft: 37 points

Someone tricked Heidi into putting all women on her team. I gotta tell ya, I know quite a bit about poker and there are some people on that team I have no clue who they are, and imagine they won't even be playing at the World Series this year. What's worse, is that she didn't even put on good, hot players, like Erica Schoenberg, and Vanessa Rousso. She's got a big advantage on us in the ladies only event I guess.

When making up my teams I was very torn about putting the very French Eric Cajelais on my #2 team. But seeing as how he just took a 2nd place I will ignore his Frenchness for now. My main man Gavin Smith has also started out well with a 2nd place finish. Infact had I just made a team of all Canadians I would be doing very well right now. Besides the two already mentioned Greg "FBT" Mueller has a runner up finish, Steve Paul-Ambrose has a 4th place finish, and Nenad Medic has a 17th finish (I've probably missed someone aswell).